


beneath the stains of time

by pinkprint



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, catra and adora retire to a cozy cottage in the woods, catra x therapy, they’re both working through some shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-28
Updated: 2019-11-28
Packaged: 2021-02-18 08:07:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21591220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkprint/pseuds/pinkprint
Summary: She swore the could hear the dim crackle of electricity, Hordak pulling a lever, her own life leaving her body.or: catra is plagued by nightmares, even after the war.
Relationships: Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 203





	beneath the stains of time

Catra lurched awake with a scream dying in her throat. She couldn’t see, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, couldn’t-

“Catra?” She felt the girl next to her stir sleepily, her voice croaking, but it was so dark she couldn’t see her. Pitch Black. Empty void. Nothing. “What time is it?” 

“I… I can’t, I can’t, I’m…” She wheezed, lungs on fire. The girl next to her called her name again, increasingly concerned, but Catra couldn’t muster the force required to respond. It was so dark. Why was it so dark? 

She didn’t even notice the weight next to her had shifted until the girl had lit the lanterns. The light cast a soft glow over the bedroom. “Hey,” Adora spoke delicately. “Lights on. It’s okay.” 

“Stop- It’s so- I can’t-” Catra sputtered and felt her entire body shake; only then did she realize she’d been sobbing. The fine fur on her cheeks had become matted with tears, and her chest ached from heaving. Couldn’t breathe. No air. No release. Just a gnawing, cold, desperate pit inside her, clawing for anything to pull inside itself. A scream bubbled up in her throat again before she found herself gasping for air. Behind her, Adora’s eyes widened in fear.

“Catra, sweetheart, remember your steps.” Catra flinched when she felt a hand on her back. “I need you to breathe with me, can you do that?” 

“Hordak, he used the- and you were-“ Catra felt dimly aware of the hand rubbing circles on her back as her entire frame wracked with violent sobs. No air. No air. She swore the could hear the dim crackle of electricity, Hordak pulling the switch, her own life leaving her body.

“Shh, it’s okay, it’s okay, it was just a nightmare. It’s not real. You’re okay. Can you breathe with me, please?” Adora began to take long, deep breaths, sinking onto the bed beside her. “Breathe in.” Catra gasped in a shallow breath of air. “Breathe out.” She exhaled and punctuated it with a sob. “Breathe in.” Her lungs allowed a steady breath- “Breathe out.” and forced it out. “You’re doing better. Breathe in.” This inhale was accompanied by a tremor that worked its way up her spine and Adora slowly, carefully placed her hand over Catra’s. She didn’t realize how hard it was trembling until she looked down. “Breathe out.” A heavy silence settled over the room as Catra continued breathing, remembering what her therapist told her- name three things you can feel, three things you can hear, and three things you can see. Feeling was much simpler than it was supposed to be, Adora made it easy. She could feel Adora’s hand delicately rubbing the small of her back. She could feel Adora’s fingers resting on top of hers. She could feel soft kisses at the back of her head, barely there, but enough to register in her mind. Enough to pull her back down.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

“Let me know when you’re ready to talk,” Adora murmured. Catra checked that off as something she could hear, along with her own throbbing heartbeat. Her clever ears picked up the whistling in the tree branches outside their window. Sometimes, the wind blew so strong the whistling kept her and Adora lying awake at night. They joked they’d grown soft; in the Fright Zone, the two of them could sleep through all the noise and bustle that disturbed the environment. Now they couldn’t handle a gust of wind. They joked they’d grown soft, but really they both knew they couldn’t sleep because their reflexes would never let them relax. The whistling of the wind could just as easily be the threat of an incoming pulse. Each other’s company is what got them through the uncertainty of nighttime.

Catra swallowed down what felt like a desert in her mouth. “I’m ready.”

“Do you need any water?”

“No, not yet.” That was a lie, since her throat felt like hot sandpaper, but she didn’t want to feel Adora’s absence beside her. Adora must have understood this, as she planted another kiss just above Catra’s ear. Catra gripped her hand. “Look at me,” she commanded softly.

Adora turned to face her, and Catra felt a wave of guilt rush over her at the sight of how tired her features were. She must have been tossing and turning for a while and finally gotten to sleep before Catra woke her up. Catra didn’t even realize her breaths had become shallow again until Adora, panicked, began to soothe her.

“Hey, hey, I’m here. What color are my eyes?” Right, she’d never listed the three things she could see. Even under their tired glaze, Adora’s eyes were brilliant, and they reminded Catra of the time they went to the lake together. Catra was not a fan of the water, and she let out a piercing shriek when her foot brushed against some slimy thing at the bottom of the lakebed, but her heart fluttered in her chest when Adora guffawed at her misfortune and laid a towel out in the warm sand. Catra hadn’t even remembered falling asleep. She just remembered awaking some time later, with the sun low over the horizon, her head on Adora’s chest. It was the safest she’d felt since the war ended.

“Blue,” Catra finally responded. “They’re blue.” 

“Good, good,” Adora reassured her. “What color are the curtains?”

“White.”

“What can you see outside the window?” Etheria had always been decently well-lit at night, due in part to the light given off by its moons, but Catra was amazed by the illumination of the whole planet created by the stars. Even in the quiet hours of the morning, the world remained bright. 

“I see… lots of trees. Lots of flowers. And uh, the weeds are sure growing in,” Catra snorted. Adora hummed in response, and Catra didn’t miss the tired smile spreading across her face. That smile felt like home.

“Perfuma said not to call them weeds, remember? Also, I happen to like the biodiversity.”

“That’s a big word for you, princess.” Adora scoffed and nudged her, and they both let a beat of silence fill the room. 

“I love you,” Adora spoke finally, and Catra’s heart jumped- partly with fear, and partly with excitement. She never grew weary of hearing those words, yet she was still afraid to accept them. She was afraid to open her eyes to a dark room where Adora was gone and her lungs struggled to function. Love felt so foreign, and she felt so unworthy. 

“Thank you for… you know. Waking up and everything.” Catra realized how stupid she sounded the instant the words left her mouth. It’s not like she left Adora much of a choice in waking up when she started screaming in the early hours of the morning.

“I don’t mind, dummy.” The words were punctuated with a soft kiss to Catra’s shoulder. She sighed dreamily, and gazed out the window, up towards the stars.

“We’ve been through some shit together.”

“We have.”

“Thank you for not giving up on me,” Catra swallowed. “I don’t know where I’d be without you.” Dead, most likely.

“I don’t know where I’d be without you.” Adora squeezed Catra’s hand. Also probably dead, Catra mused. “Is there anything I can do to help with the nightmares?”

“Honestly? No.” Catra watched the leaves rustle for the moment. “I’m working on it, you know, in therapy. But it’ll take some time.”

“I understand that.”

“Thank you.” She let her head fall onto Adora’s shoulder, then winced at the yawn the blonde let out. “Hey, if it ever gets to be too much, I can sleep in another room. I really don’t mind, you need your sleep, and I-“

“Catra.”

“I’m just saying.”

“I don’t want you in another room.” Catra wasn’t certain if Adora said this because she didn’t want to sleep without Catra, or because she was afraid of what Catra would do to either herself or her surroundings if she slept on her own. She felt another wave of shame rush over her.

“I’m sorry,” Catra murmured.

“Don’t say that.”

“Apologies are good.”

“Not when you didn’t do anything wrong.” Catra didn’t argue back. They’d gotten into this dispute too many times before. 

“Do you want to go back to sleep?”

“Only if you do,” Adora said sincerely. And despite the flash of uncertainty in her stomach, Catra knew she meant it.

“I think I’m ready.”

“Good.” Adora’s lips met her temple before she pulled herself under the blanket, letting Catra squirm her way in on her own accord.

“Can you spoon me?” Catra’s voice sounded obnoxiously small for such an innocent request. Adora giggled.

“Always.” The trees had stopped whistling.

“And, hey, Adora?”

“Yes?”

Catra let her eyes fall closed. She never knew how to adequately thank Adora for all her trouble. Catra knew she wasn’t exactly easy to deal with, and a lot harder to live with. It felt like no words could describe her gratitude. No words could express her feelings or the degree that she felt them to. But, she supposed she could settle for, 

“I love you, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> me wanting catradora to just be happy vs me knowing the war probably fucked them up So bad  
> (also i hope the formatting isnt too funky on this i did it on mobile)


End file.
